The Power of Believing
From the words of Wayne W. Dyer, ‘You cannot drink the word “water”. The formula H2O cannot float a ship. The word “rain” cannot get you wet. You must experience water or rain to truly know what the words mean.’ And such is the literal definition of all things in life. In order to really understand something you must experience it, and to experience something one must believe in its existence.
It was a fall morning in California, right after a work call I looked back at my husband and I said “I can’t do this anymore”. He looked so puzzled, not quite understanding what prompted me to make such a hasty decision at that moment. I said “I know I have fulfilled my goals in life but I haven’t fulfilled my purpose and I am so lost because I don’t know what that looks like for me.” That was the end of that conversation and my search for my purpose. As the years passed, I discounted that powerful realization as a daft moment of corporate despair. I thought I was doing my best, in fact better than most, making a good salary, great at my job, living life large; what could possibly go wrong? Everything.
The mental stress of being stuck at a place drove me down an emotional roller coaster, and without much attention I just kept getting physically and mentally sick with every passing day. I developed acute insomnia, every muscle and joint of my body hurt, I stopped socializing, fell into extreme depression and developed self dissociation.
First I blamed the job, next I blamed the pandemic, and when my bucket of blames were over and nothing changed I was convinced that I was cursed. To elaborate a little on the ‘being cursed’ part, I went through a series of unending illnesses which western medicine couldn’t remediate and encountered freak accidents; so my friends and family members were pretty adamant someone has casted their evil eye on me. Hence, in search of the truth I decided to try holistic healing, read books and meet people. And in my search, I discovered when your journey in life is to remember the path to self, life will show you the way immediately. And if you choose to ignore it, you will be reminded through tough life experiences the reason for your very existence.
And when you question your existence, life has a miraculous way of answering back. It provides you with resources you require to help you come in terms with it. All you have to do is ask, and the Universe shall deliver. I remember one evening after a drained day as I sat on my couch and turned on Netflix, it recommended that I watch ‘Oprah Viola: A Netflix Special’. If you haven’t watched it, I recommend that you do or read the book ‘Finding Me: A Memoir’ by Viola Davis. My takeaway from it was to write down on paper all that you want and ask who you want to ask The God, The Goddess, The Source, The Universe; whoever you want to write to, just write it down and believe it will come to you. I took that advice that day and my life changed forever.
I bought a journal the next day and I wrote only the positive things I wanted in life, never what I didn’t want. As I wrote I believed, the more I believed the more I experienced. One by one layers of illusion shed its skin from my life. I started to meditate, got mentally stable, physically healthier, ate better, slept better, made better life choices. And I finally had the courage to leave my old world behind, I quit the job, I moved on from people that didn’t serve my highest good, I traveled, I studied, honed in my practices and met new people. Some of the people I met on my journey are now my beloved friends today. I took in all the knowledge that came my way; and as I evolved I remembered who I am, why I am here. Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “Man’s mind, stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimension.” And so, through all my experiences I came to believe the core principle of life: I am not a human being having a spiritual experience, I am a spiritual being having a human experience.
So Believe. Believe until your illusions shatter your ground and YOUR impossible becomes YOUR possible.
Nov, 2022
